You know there is a saying that without pain we wouldn’t know pleasure. I often sit back and reflect on this from where I was to where I am. I can certainly say that if you are currently in the “pain” whether still in the narcissistic abusive relationship or somewhere in the beginning healing stages of having just left this statement above probably makes you want to punch something. Because the pain from Narcissistic Abuse is that bad! There is no way around looking at it any other way. I can attest that it’s very likely the worst pain I have endured in my lifetime. When in my last relationship and after going no contact it felt like my world was ending. Like I was actually dying from the inside out. Even as I write this my chest tightens up and my heart starts to beat a little faster at the thought of what I went through and how it actually felt when I was going through it. I’ve noticed a lot of others who have become “coaches” from their experience of narcissistic abuse often do not talk about how they felt, or what they went through. I imagine that it’s because the memories are still too painful, which tells me they haven’t really healed from it and let go. They simply have just moved on and are trying to make the best of a horrific situation. I’ll admit there are times when a certain memory can cause me to get angry all over again. No sense in denying it, it will probably take me till my death bed to be “completely” healed if that’s even possible but I am a fighter just like you and I will continue to work on my healing because I’m worth it and so are you!!
So back on topic and back to the title of this blog can we turn what we experienced into something beautiful? I’d like to think that we can, ah yes I am forever the optimist, and I’m grateful for this trait because it really has helped me see the forest through the trees. Above I mentioned that when I was going through the hardest part of it, it made me feel like I was “dying” from the inside out. What I take from this is I was! I was becoming a New Authentic ME. Someone who had to “die” in a sense to create a new me, someone who would set boundaries, who would put herself first, who would stop being the people pleaser and hold others accountable, give and get respect or walk away from those who don’t see my worth. So you see the old me had to burn to dust in order to find out who I really am. And maybe just maybe that’s what has to also happen to you. What’s that song – Maybe It’s Time to let the old ways die – maybe just maybe it is. Because how can we become who we really want to be if we are holding on to old toxic ways that no longer serve us? We have to burn it all down – regroup and then rise like a phoenix out of the ashes and when we do that is where we create something beautiful out of the Pain we have endured. And so I leave you all with this as it is your choice on how you want to see your life and your experiences – do you see a rose bush that has thorns or a thorn bush that has roses? Until next time – Chin up my beautiful healing warriors or the Crown Slips ~ SoulfullyWild